True Friendship

I have found few things in life as fragile and complicated as a relationship with another person. At times, friendship seems easier to loose than it is to gain, especially in the constantly changing atmosphere of college. For me, friendships fade in and out – gain and loose weight – constantly, but these variations are what make each friendship special and distinct form the others. The best example I can give of such a friendship is the one I have with my best friend, Cody. I have been close with Cody for years, and our relationship is quite colorful, but it did not immediately get that way. In fact, to form a friendship like the one I have with Cody, a fairly long process must occur; a process outlined well throughout the development of The Country of the Pointed Firs by Sarah Orne Jewett. This collection of stories takes its form in the depiction of a small Maine fishing village, Dunnet Landing, as well as the relationship the narrator has with the place, and even Jewett describes that relationship to be “like becoming acquainted with a single person” (7). Through careful examination, we can see that this book, beginning to end, parallels the life a good friendship.

I am not sure what initially draws two people to be friends, but I do know that in order to become friends, people must find some trait appealing in one another. This trait can be one of an infinite number of things, but usually, at least for me, it is a common interest. In Cody’s case, we are both very interested in outdoor activities. Whether we are biking, swimming in the lake, or just playing a game of pick-up basketball with the guys, we are perfectly content with ourselves and each other. When Cody and I first met, this common trait was what initially brought us together – introduced us. For the narrator in Jewett’s story, a different trait draws her in, beauty. She finds the town of Dunnet Landing to be quite appealing in the way it looks during a “yachting cruise” several summers before the story takes place, and she feels compelled to return. Her attention is immediately drawn to the “quaintness of the village,” describing it as a “white-clapboarded little town” (7). The narrator finds these aspects of the town to be adorable, but aesthetic appeal can only go so far in a friendship. For the narrator to truly hold a relationship with Dunnet Landing, a more substantial bond is needed.

When people enter into a friendship, it is impossible for them to know one another’s past. As they spend time getting to know each other, the friends will slowly reveal their pasts, giving a knowledge that adds color to their relationship. When I started getting to know Cody, I did not think much of our differences, mainly because I did not notice any, but as we got closer, I began to see our main difference was rooted in our family histories; his, a country-based conservative family, and mine, a suburban-based liberal family. I did not hold anything I learned about his past against him. Instead, I used what I learned to add depth to our relationship. Throughout The Country of the Pointed Firs, the narrator gains bits of knowledge on Dunnet Landing’s past through talking with its townsfolk. The narrator hears stories of adventure in “Captain Littlepage,” as well as tales of mystery in “Poor Joanna.” These stories of the towns past help her not only to see how Dunnet Landing came to be what it is, but also to shape her view of the place in the future. This knowledge gives a strong base on which the relationship between the town and the narrator can grow.

While knowing a friend’s past is important, what really sculpts a friendship are the experiences the friends share. Going through situations together brings friends closer and creates a very strong bond. My most memorable experience with Cody was helping him out when his parents split. During the hardest time in his life, I tried everything I could to be there for Cody. I had him over as much as his mom would let him, and I talked to him about his parents whenever he wanted to talk. I cannot tell you if anything I had to say was of any help, but being apart of such an intimate aspect of Cody’s life solidified my feelings; we were the best of friends. In the case of the book, the narrators journey to see Mrs. Blackett as well as her journey to the Bowden family reunion are similar intimate moments. Finally being given the chance to participate in the traditional festivities of Dunnet Landing makes the narrator feel at one with the place. Much like my experience with Cody, being invited into such a private matter made her feel as welcome as family. Of course, experiences between friends do not always have to be on this same level of intimacy to be important. Any small event, like the narrator’s help in Mrs. Todd’s business, can strengthen a relationship. All experiences help to define friendship.

At the end of getting acquainted and creating deep bonds with one another, friends ultimately part ways. One could say that Cody and I have already parted ways. I have continued on to college and he remains working closer to home. Considering that “home” is only thirty minutes away, I still see him on a fairly regular basis, but the frequency of our visits is much lower now. He and I both have created good friendships elsewhere, and as a result, we are growing in different directions. I do not by any means think that our friendship is over – in fact, I do not believe that a good friendship ever ends – but I do think our paths are now quite different. The narrator in The Country of the Pointed Firs sailed away from Dunnet Landing to return to her old life where she will continue to grow separately. Likewise, Dunnet Landing will continue on, changing without the narrator’s presence, but both will take a little something of the other with them on their way. I feel the same with Cody; while we will definitely see each other again, we each will take something from the other in our individual journey through life.

With these observations at hand, we can easily see Sarah Orne Jewett’s The Country of the Pointed Firs resembles the life of a friendship. The friendship is not necessarily between the narrator and any person in particular, but between the narrator and the town of Dunnet Landing itself. The friendship develops with an initial appeal of the town, a reveal of the its past, a collection of new experiences in and around the landing, and finally, a parting from the place. I cannot say if the narrator will return to Dunnet Landing, but honestly it does not matter. Even if Cody and I never meet again, we will keep our friendship forever, as will the narrator keep her friendship with Dunnet Landing. Once a good relationship is made, it is everlasting – that is the beauty of true friendship.